Friday, March 03, 2006
things to look forward to?
In twelve hours Rain will be gone from the world. I can't quite fathom it. Maybe I'll tell myself that he's going off to a nice farm, that he'll get to run around outside and climb trees again. And shit in the dirt. He loved relieving himself outside, back in the days when we had a yard.

Here are some things I won't really miss about Rain:

- I get to vacuum again. I haven't vacuumed since he got sick, since he's so scared of the vacuum cleaner. I wanted him to have a peaceful convalescence.

- As great as it was to cuddle with him every night, I'll probably sleep better now that he's not fucking around in bed all the time.

- Plus, all the kneading. I've never been a fan of the kneading.

- Okay, I'll tell it straight. He could be little bastard when he wanted to. If he was pissed at me, usually because he wanted extra food, he would go beat up Henry to get his frustration out.

- He always wanted to be on my lap. It's very sweet, goshdarnit. But I have to work, and I have to do homework. So it was not always do-able to have him in my lap, squeezed between my belly and my laptop.

- He loved plastic grocery bags. I mean he really loved them. He liked lying on them, he liked playing with them. So I left them lying around on the floor, so he could enjoy them any time he wanted. But people, it looks ugly. Even just having one empty plastic bag layin' around on your floor makes you look a little bag-lady.

- He really ran this household. He bossed me and Henry around a lot. We're ready for a new Alpha Cat.

- He's not afraid of fire, so I have to have candles up really high. Otherwise he literally lights himself on fire.

- He's a glutton. Once he couldn't go outside any more and didn't get as much exercise, I had to be very careful about portion control. He got very expensive atkins-esque cat food, and it got measured, and they got fed at 7 pm. If I lost track of time, they let me know. Now that gluttony fattypants is leavin', I think we can go back to a more chill cat food lifestyle.

- During law school, he figured out that books and papers, and especially the little tags that marked up my textbooks, were the most important things to me. (Maybe even more important than (gasp) him!) And all those paper products were fairly easy to destroy, isn't that handy? He was pissy when I was in law school. He wanted more of my attention. (He has always been very affectionate cat. Which is nice until you don't have quite as much time to devote to the fuzz. Then the wrath of god rains down on you as your cat turns into a needy, bitchy stereotype.) During law school he didn't think he got enough of my time, so he took it out on my textbooks. Seriously. He saw how quickly he got my attention when he bit and tore my papers, so he kept on. He even learned to pull my carefully placed tags out of my textbooks, which was the most serious of offenses, so far as I could tell.

- Landlords are prejudiced against two-cat-families. Not that I plan on moving any time soon.

- He was the primary scratcher of the furniture. It's partly my fault. I had a couch for many years that was left behind by the man who worst broke my heart. I was totally fine with Rain scratching the shit out of that thing. Unfortunately, as I suspected, this behavior is not particularly unlearnable. Later furniture suffered.

- Less litter box duty. Half, in fact.

- 88% fewer vomit clean-ups as well.

- Since I won't have my surrogate significant other anymore, and I'll be more lonely and less cuddled....maybe I'll be more reachy-outy towards my many (neglected?) friends and new possible loves?

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The views expressed here are my own and do not represent in any way my employer. Or my school. Or even my friends. And heaven knows the views here aren't representative of my family. Ha! This is a personal blog and it only represents me. And on some days, even that is questionable. So there.

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